Where do you go to get your fix?
First things first, this is a family show, so the blog is not about anything untoward. I found myself thinking, this week, about the notion about from what, where, and whom I get my needs met. I have a belief that we each have different sources for different fixes.
I have only to get on Facebook for two minutes to know that I have many friends who are coffee-junkies. I often wonder if a Starbucks venti latte tall grande mocha frappuccino (okay, clearly I know nothing about coffee) is the answer to all questions about life. That "fix" gets peoples' days started in a way that others of us cannot understand.
The first thing I do every single morning (even when I travel for work and I am in a hotel room in which it is questionable whether or not the carpet has been cleaned to my satisfaction---enter Shelly's OCD) is get down on my knees and pray that my Higher Power (whom I choose to call God) helps me be the person He intends me to be for that day. I get my fix of God right away, but for me, it can't stop there. I have to keep getting my spiritual fix throughout the day.
While it is not a Higher Power, I do believe that God put Dunkin' Donuts munchkins on this earth to make me happy. No, I don't partake of them everyday, but by golly, when I do, I choose to believe that a few munchkins are just the holes of doughnuts, thereby not being as bad for me as eating a doughnut (don't judge---everyone has a "thing", right?)
I can't talk about fixes, however, without mentioning how much I rely on Dave, my husband and best friend of 25 years. He is my voice of reason when the committee in my own head starts arguing or when I allow life to cause me anxiety. He talks me down from the ledge when I get overwhelmed with work stuff, and he even coaches me on golf (which we have always heard spouses shouldn't do). He has been my rock through every major trying event in my adult years and is naturally my biggest "fix". We don't agree on all things political or even religious, but we go to church together every Sunday (except when I am boarding a plane for parts unknown) to get our fix of spirituality together. Holding hands with Dave in church completes me.
Speaking of church, it is certainly one of, but not the only place I go for my fix of spirituality. I also get together with men and women who are in recovery from alcohol being our "fix" (and I've done this for the last twenty years in May), and find myself constantly writing down things people say in church and in these meetings that I can hang onto and remind myself of when I get a little down. One of my dearest friends from high school, Denise, and I talk about needing those people in our lives who are our touchstones (and she is definitely mine)---people who remind me that God must love me quite a bit to give me friendships who have lasted the test of time and through shared heartaches. Even people who may not have the same exact beliefs as mine (Glenn, for example) are "fixes" for challenging me and allowing me to take a fresh look at my own beliefs about religion, politics and family.
Professionally, I have my mentors like Dar, who stretch my thinking in ways I have never been stretched. But Dar and many others also are so generous with their own thinking and materials without ever having to be asked. When I was a principal, my administrative assistant, Cindy, was not only my fix for "taming the wild beasts" who came into the school loaded for bear, but we also knew that work should not only be work but should be fun, no matter what is going on. It has been over five years since we worked together, but we still know that everything people say can be turned into a song (and we will still sing a line or two just to prove that theory). The teachers and staff at that elementary school were and still are my "fix" for examples of what a culture for learning in a schoolhouse can and should look like. I promise I am not going to exaggerate and say that there was 100% love and ambition every single day from every single person, but I will go on record as saying that I got my professional fix from watching teachers, staff, and parents go the extra mile for kids who were constantly working on becoming leaders (we used Stephen Covey's "Seven Habits" and I honestly think it rubbed off on us, the kids, the bus drivers, and the parents, as well). I take that experience of being the principal at Edge Elementary School with me in every single professional learning opportunity I do in my work, now.
But if I am going to talk about "fixes", I can't finish this blog without mentioning my fix for laughter. When it comes to laughing to the point of crying, giggling until there is almost a need for a wardrobe change, and simply "my mouth and sides hurt from laughing so hard", it's my best friends who give me that fix. Robin and Kelly were my two best friends in college (and that might have been upwards of 30-plus years ago), and we still try to see each other at least once or twice a year. When we do, all bets are off if you are around us, as our husbands can and will likely attest. We can burst into laughter at a moment's notice about...well, absolutely nothing if you want the truth. While they were among the first people I called when I was diagnosed with breast cancer almost three years ago, they are also the friends who came and stayed with me after the surgeries I had (draining the nasty drainage tubes, laughing with me and at me when I was still on pain meds, and cooking for Dave and me when I couldn't do it myself----cue Dave saying "She wouldn't have cooked anyway"). Kelly Edelman, Megan Sanders, and Michelle Vaughn can make me laugh with one=liners that keep me in stitches; Rocky and Sloan do the same. I couldn't be more grateful for those people who know laughter is truly the best medicine.
So, what about you? What are your fixes? From where do they come? Do you take them for granted? If so, that might be a bit natural. But I challenge you === just for today, to thank one of your fixes for being there for you.
I, personally, thank each and every person in my life whom I have ever encountered, because good or bad, I learned something from them.
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