DR. SHELLY ARNESON AUTHOR AND CONSULTANT
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Happy Communicating
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Sometimes it's what we don't say.....

1/31/2012

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We talk so much about miscommunications that occur when we say the wrong thing or say too much, but have you ever had the experience of being misinterpreted by what you didn't say?  In using a new evaluation tool to observe teachers, we as administrators are tasked only to write specific evidence in what we observe-----not any interpretation of that evidence (just the facts, right?) in an effort to keep the subjectivity out of the evaluation and keep only the objectivity.  However, imagine how daunting it is to read the evidence as a teacher and wonder "Is this a good thing or a bad thing?"  In other words, I think teachers (heck, all of us to be perfectly honest) want to be given feedback that is a bit subjective ----- something along the lines of "WHEN you said 'Bless you' to the child who sneezed, it seemed to indicate a feeling of rapport in the room".  It's hard to hear just the facts sometimes when it comes to our performance.  Maybe we just aren't used to rating ourselves on how we did and we're used to someone telling us "good job----keep working hard".  Maybe, just maybe, we can learn a little something from hearing
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Words can be deceptive....

1/29/2012

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When my husband and I sold our house about ten years ago, we decided to do it on our own instead of using a realtor.  After all, who, better than we, could talk about the beauty of the house?  After one couple had shown interest twice, we began to seal the deal.  The wife came over one day to look at tile, carpet, etc. and happened to mention that she really liked the look of our refrigerator, which we intended to take with us.  I inadvertently said the following words:  "I know, it really goes with the house".  A few days later when we finalized the deal, we went through what was included and what wasn't included.  She stood firm on the thought that I had said the refriegerator was part of the sale.  Not understanding, I recalled our conversation and almost laughed outloud.  I just meant the appliance matched the decor and she had taken my comment to mean it was included with the house.  We split the difference and called it good, but how many times does this situation occur in our lives?  We say something, fully knowing what we mean while someone else totally misinterprets or differently interprets what we say. 
Perhaps if we take the time to think about what we are saying and clarify what we say and what we heard, we might be much better off!  Hope everyone has a great "non-misinterpreted" week! 
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Book Signing was great!

1/28/2012

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So excited to get to see so many great folks today----thanks to everyone for coming out to see or buy Letting Go of K.C.
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Book Signing Saturday, January 28th

1/25/2012

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Come on out to Bayou Book Company in Oak Creek Plaza in Niceville, Florida this weekend.  Saturday from 12 - 2, I will be doing an author visit and book signing for Letting Go of K
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Doing what I love.....

1/25/2012

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I got a chance to talk to some middle school administrators today about trust.  I am ever so grateful for the opportunity to talk about topics for which I have a huge passion.  Trust and communication are crucial ---- probably more so today than ever before.  
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Who moved my cheese?

1/22/2012

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I'm attempting to transition from my Wordpress blog but you can still check out my previous blogs at www.principalcommunicates.wordpress.com.  
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    Shelly Arneson

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