DR. SHELLY ARNESON AUTHOR AND CONSULTANT
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Happy Communicating
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Where you are...

4/24/2022

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     This morning, at church, was Youth Sunday. The sermon was done by a young lady who will soon be leaving her church home for college at Baylor.  One of the lines of her sermon truly resonated with me.  She had been lamenting to one of our priests about how she will miss her church home, and that she is afraid she won't find a connection like this one.  The priest told her, "You may never find another St. Helena's, but you will most certainly find a place that needs a Megan."  Wowee...how important and profound is that!!
     I "grieved" so much when I left the school where I was principal for almost 8 years in Florida (and that was after being a guidance counselor at that same school for 7 1/2 years).  How could any place or any job ever compare?   I always said it was the best job ever to be the principal at that school.  How would any other job ever match up? Well, the fact of the matter is: it couldn't.  I have never and will never find another Edge Elementary School, but I have found places that truly needed me (and I, them) over the last 10 years.  
     I began consulting and getting to travel to places all over the world to work with educators and educational leaders who were learning new skills, just like I was.  I found that work to be so absolutely fulfilling, I said it was the best job ever.  Dave laughed at me (still does, on an ongoing basis, by the way) and said, "You have said that about every job you've ever had in your career in education."  He also reminds me that every time I go to a new place to teach (or especially back to schools or districts that feel like "coming home" because of the relationships I have built with the people there), I usually say (when I call him from my hotel room that night), "That was the best day ever!!" He says, "You know, they can't always be the best day ever."  Hmmmm...."why not?"---I wonder.  I've grieved when I am unable to go back to work at a particular place because the district or entity has perhaps changed hands and they are going a different direction (whether I think that direction is a mistake is beside the point) than believing that students should be able to construct meaning from what content versus sitting in row-by-row desks being "taught at" (uggghhh!).  But grieving that I am leaving a job for another experience or opportunity has typically never let me down.  I end up saying, "This is the best job ever!" whenever the new place comes along. I wonder if it is like what our priest told Megan, "There will never be another ________, but there will always be another place that needs a Shelly".  And, I might add, I might need that new place, as well, to continue my journey and growth as a reflective educator.  I have a sneaking suspicion that I will likely never go into banking or construction work. Indeed, the education world holds my heart and my passion.  But where that passion leads next is always the "right" next move, I think.  Right now, I am extremely blessed to get to teach at three different universities.  I mentor doctoral students who are in the process of getting their dissertations.  I teach courses to teachers who are getting their degrees in Educational Leadership. They want to become school leaders, and I live vicariously through so many of them who keep in touch with me once they have landed their first jobs.  Those relationships help inform my own work.  I am also blessed to be able to use what I teach in those courses to help further inform and augment the consulting work I do.  The student teachers I supervise help me use skills of coaching that then help me teach educational leaders about coaching their own teachers.  The development of curriculum for Grand Canyon University that I do helps me realize how critical curriculum development is to enable master's level courses to be the very best they can be in order to give students the experiences and content that will help them become of maximum service to the schools they will someday lead.  It's so synchronous and synergetic, it's almost creepy (not in a weird way, though).  
     I suppose I am in a bit of a state of grief whenever one of my many part-time jobs comes to an end.  I feel the loss deep in my soul....maybe because I have given my heart and soul to those jobs.  I have, indeed, also applied for a couple of positions in my life in which I was not the "chosen one". "Ouch!" says my bruised ego. Those experiences break my heart, as well, but I have to remember that there is a plan for my next "move", whatever that may be (whether it's to continue to put together 7 different part time roles that wind up being way more work than a full time job could ever be or it's to take on a full-time position to help a school or entity grow).  There may never be an organization for me like the one I leave or the one at which I wasn't chosen to be, but there will be another organization that needs a "Shelly 2.0" or "Shelly 3.0".  
     What does your next move look like for you?  If you say "I will forever remain in my role as __________ at _________", then I would push you to consider, "How might you ensure you continue to grow in that role?" "How might you ensure you are not resting on your laurels in your current position?" I'd love to hear the ways that you do that, as I believe people need to hear our successes (and even what we have learned from our not-so-successful-experiences).  
I know this to be true:  there will never be another Shelly. Dave says the world probably couldn't handle more than one of me, but I know he means that lovingly. I have so much to offer. I can't wait to see what the future holds. 
     In the song "Watershed" by Indigo Girls, there is a line that says, "Every five years or so, I look back on my life, and I have a good laugh....".  I laugh for joy at what I have been blessed to do throughout my life as an educator; I laugh at my foibles in certain situations; I laugh at the wisdom I lacked from which I have learned a bit; I laugh when I think I have learned it all, as the world is constantly evolving, and I am willing to be open to new ideas and new thoughts if I remain a reflective practitioner.  What will your next five years hold?  I pray they are good ones.  I pray that you know that no matter whether you remain at a particular place or not, the world needs a "You" at the place where you will be.  

Happy Communicating,

Shelly

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What are your dreams?

4/10/2022

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     Listening to this father and daughter duo singing "A Million Dreams" from The Greatest Showman  (click the underlined words to watch and listen---it will not disappoint, I assure you) made me think so many thoughts. I happen to love thinking about thinking (metacognition, or "going meta" as some like to say), and it allows me to reflect on my life, my work, my contribution to my community and the education world at large. 

     I have three thoughts to share with you today. I hope you can find something to which you relate.  If not, it's your own fault (just kidding---I totally share the burden if I am unable to catapult you into thinking about your life through my three key points).
  • "If you build it, they will come" Yes, it is a misquoted line from Field of Dreams that actually was "If you build it, he will come".  I, personally, like the misquoted version, as it reminds me of what we can do if we think big and allow for miracles to happen.  As a former principal, we had a faculty and staff who believed that, despite being a Title I school (in which at least 40% of the students come from typically underserved communities and quite possibly qualify for free and reduced lunch), we could still help our students achieve academic success in Reading, Math, Writing, Science and other focus areas.  But what does it take to truly "build it"?  We believed that if we "grew leaders" (not just leadership skills in students, but also among all stakeholders to include staff, administration, parents, and community members), we had a better shot at helping students not just pass a statewide test (uggghhh!), but prepare them to become creative and problem-solving lifelong learners.  We utilized Stephen Covey's "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" in order to "build" this vision.  And boy, did they come out in droves.  We had Kindergarten students who, when I visited their classrooms, would call out, "Dr. Arneson, look! We're synergizing!" (try saying those sentences with missing teeth----perfectly adorable).  We had parents and staff members who faithfully attended a book study with me on "Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families" (also a Covey book).  And now, I am blessed to see some of my former students begin to grow families of their own and begin careers in fields (no pun intended) they had always dreamed about.  
  • One day at a time, but we still need to set goals: While I believe we are not meant to project into the future (because no matter what the future holds or no matter where I go, there I will be), we need to take ownership of what we want the vision of our life to be.  We can't settle for anything less than our best, and in order to do that, we need to set goals (mine, right now, is to get landscaping outside our newly built house completed, so our yellow Labrador Retrievers don't go outside then come back in as "Gray Labradors", but I digress).  One of the Master's level courses I teach for Grand Canyon University's Educational Leadership program is Education Law (did I just hear some of you groan? It's actually quite fascinating).  One of the weekly tasks in this course is to examine a true case study of what might happen to a new school leader and figure out how to deal with it.  There are guided steps in the process, and yet, some students want to jump to a conclusion right away, believing it's the only way.  Au contraire, I tell them.  Effective leaders seek to ensure the decision they are making is the best one by creating a bit of a flow chart (in their heads, on the fly, or on paper), thinking through each possible solution and how it might impact students, primarily, before landing on the decision they would make.  It isn't easy, but if we jump ahead too much without doing the footwork it takes to gather data from all possible sources, we could wind up in a conundrum that is hard to escape.  What does that look like in your own life?  My best friend from high school has two beautiful daughters (and a hilarious husband, by the way) who have both gotten married in the past five months---yep, let that sink in for a moment----and they have truly realized the importance of taking one day at a time while still making plans for the imminent nuptials.  I wrote Sarah (the oldest who just got married last night) a note two weeks ago reminding her to soak in all the goodness that comes with the lead-up to a wedding bound by faith.  Yes, there are flowers to pick up; yes, there are decisions to be made; but all the while, there is beauty in basking in every glorious moment we have.  Dave makes fun of me because every time I teach a group of educators in whatever professional development opportunity I am facilitating, I say, "It was the best day ever" (one group I worked with a few years ago even made me a t-shirt that had the words "best group ever" written on it).  Taking life one day at a time means I am going to love whatever I am doing and continue to grow my own learning through my own curiosity about new ideas and never wish to shut the door on great thoughts or reflections from others.
  • "...a vision for the world we're gonna make"  Ignoring the casual spelling in that phrase, this sums up what I believe to be so critical right now: in our schools, in our own lives, in the Ukraine, in our local communities, and in our own families.  WE are going to make it means that we have to not sit around pondering the "what ifs" of the world, but we need to get up, get out, and take some action to help others, to help educators survive the perils of what all schools seem to be facing right now, and to take responsibility for our part in our own families when we stumble or fall.  We don't have to be the greatest showman to realize that we all have a part to play in this life.  My fervent prayer is that if each one of us did just our part (yes, I'm even talking about putting the shopping cart (or buggy for my friends in the south) back in its cart return bin), we would likely see a difference in our entire world.  We need to take action to include people who might look or sound different from us; we need to respect one another's opinions, even if we disagree (a dear spiritual advisor of mine once taught me to say, "You might be right" even when we didn't truly believe it in that moment---once given a chance to reflect, I might actual see that there truly might be some "right" in what they say); we need to ensure all students are treated with respect, dignity, challenges, and kindness, regardless of marginalized or typically underserved status; we need to take action to help educators get the best professional learning that they need; and so much more and so much more.  So, what's your part in this challenge?  For me, I know I am called to help grow leaders through my teaching, facilitation, coaching, and designing growth opportunities that allow best practices to occur in schools around the world.  
I would love to hear what your part is.  Listen and watch the video from the link above, and be inspired to do what you are called to do, and I will do the same.  

Happy  Communicating!!

Shelly
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