What if it is "both, and...."?

I've been thinking about SuperBowl (not the actual football game that sports fans are watching but ALL the things that surround this day) Sunday, and I am amazed that a game like this could cause so many outrageously angry and ugly comments (90% of which are not even about the game itself!) from people on Facebook, in person, and on video. I guess I shouldn't be amazed, truly, since so much of what I do for a living (including traveling through crowded airports and disgruntled travelers) puts me in positions to watch the meltdowns of people. We've all seen videos (or firsthand experiences) that show rage in airports, on highways, at gas stations, etc. I have always been the person who wants to say, "I think what ______ is trying to say is....." to try to defuse the situation. Only once have I had someone tell me not to get involved and I strongly suspect it was because they weren't finished reading the other person the riot act.  In other cases, people might say, "Oh! I didn't get that" and hopefully stop the feuding right there.  If you don't like one of the football teams, great. Why not say something about the team you DO like instead of disrespecting the other team.  And, as for the rest of the celebrities (will Taylor make it back from Tokyo on time?), players, venue, millions of dollars spent on commercials, etc., what would today look like if we simply cheered for the people we care about instead of spending more time griping about those they don't like (even "hate", which I despise hearing)? 
I love it when people can simply agree to disagree. If you like Travis and Taylor, great. If you don't, maybe use the Thumper's motherly advice: If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

When Dave and I moved back from Tucson to Texas, I joined a Facebook group that is run by the dad of the AMAZING guy who cleans our windows. The purpose of the group? Everyone is asked to share their favorite Thai restaurants or maybe the best restaurant for a romantic dinner.  Unbelievable (well, actually it is believable, because I watch it happen every single day) as it is, people say the ugliest things for such a "softball" topic.  Some people end their post with something like: "Looking forward to your 'best taco' restaurants....and, go!" The responses are anywhere from "Go to Mary's Taco House if you like freshly made tortillas" (yea!) to "I'm not going to GO anywhere. Stop with the stupid 'and go!' comments" (really? does that bug you that much?)  to "The best tacos are at my own house. Sorry! You're out of luck".  Ummmm....how about simply not answering if you are going to be a part of the problem and not the solution.  

The same thing happens with "Nextdoor" or any other app. Somehow, we humans can make the nastiest comments out of the most mundane topics.  For example, someone may ask where they could get their new puppy trained. The answers are astounding, and all I can think is I do not want those people anywhere near Kirby and L.C. because there is always someone who will say something like, "If you don't know how to train a puppy, you shouldn't own a dog." Really? How is that helpful?  Ummmmm....it's not. On the flipside, I do not believe that forum is appropriate to talk politics, to ask for money, or to use as a singles match-up place (and, as usual, I will say, "Thank God I have Dave"). 

Years ago, I was about to walk into a meeting full of friends of Bill W. (If you know, you know; if not, suffice it to say I was in a meeting of people who were working on being better people). Outside in the parking lot, two of my favorite old-timer guys were arguing loudly about candidates for an upcoming election. Each had their own very important points they wanted to make about how their "man" was the best "man" for the job.  At 7:00 p.m., the meeting started, and you would have thought those two guys were the best of friends. There was no malice, only head nods when the other spoke about the main reason we were at that meeting (which was decidedly and most definitely NOT about politics). At one point, John (may be a pseudonym or not; you'll never know, will you?) was talking about how he and his wife sometimes get in disagreements (What????? How could that happen???). John said, "We have learned now, that when we get into those types of arguments, one of us simply turns to the other and says, 'You might be right about that', and then the argument has no place to go."  I can honestly say that was a turning point for Dave's and my marriage that we can simply say, "You might be right" (I admit we do jokingly sometimes add a whispered "You're wrong but let's pretend you're right") and it takes the wind out of the argument's sails.

I'm so grateful that I can simply scroll past ugly posts on Twitter (now X), Facebook, NextDoor, and even the San Antonio Restaurants and wind up a lot happier than if I jumped into the fray.

So, just for today, enjoy the SuperBowl or stick to the PuppyBowl to be safe.
Happy Communicating!
Shelly

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