Have you ever watched one of those shows that exploits family members, exposing their arguments about "he said", "she said"? Or how about Judge Judy? Any of those shows is a bit like a train wreck to me---I don't want to look but I can't help it, especially if I am held captive, otherwise known as sitting in a waiting room, dying on the vine while anticipating the doctor visit.
What I notice most (and by most, I mean the thing I can say in a family-friendly blog) is that people have such different memories of the way things happened. The last time I was held captive, Judge Judy had on ex-lovers. The man had loaned his live-in girlfriend several thousands of dollars for a new car, when all of a sudden, they break up. The man was suing his now EX-live-in girlfriend for repayment of the loan. But uh-oh (wait for it!), the woman says, "It wasn't a loan, it was a gift". The guy starts in with "I remember telling her..." and the woman jumps in, "No, remember, you said,...." before Judge Judy's eyes rolled back in her head and she snapped at both of them like a Jack Russell terrier.
The issue is not always "which one is lying" as much as both parties often remember things a different way. My dear sister, Kristen, and I used to joke about how one of us must have been raised by wolves, since we remember things about our childhood in different ways. Part of the differences might stem from a difference in age, personality styles, or experiences, but the fact of the matter is, my perceptions are right and hers are wrong. No, no, no, just kidding. That is not the point at all. The point is, we are likely both "right" and both "wrong" as we simply remember what we remember based on our own perceptions.
Fast forward to last week when my new book, "Finding Mother's Voice" was finally published. The book is a memoir written by me but chock full of writings, poetry, letters, cards, and journals that Mother wrote before and after her laryngectomy that took away her beautiful and lyrical voice. I made sure I announced that the book is only based on my perceptions (and those of my dear mother), and I apologized in advance for any mistakes or errors, as I can only write a memoir about my own perceptions---not those of my family members, friends, or other loved ones.
I am hopeful you will enjoy the book. Please let me know your perceptions. And, of course, I'll be sure to remember that your perceptions are not everyone's perceptions! ;)