DR. SHELLY ARNESON AUTHOR AND CONSULTANT
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Happy Communicating
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Open or rigid?

9/18/2022

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I admit that I tend to get some of the best ideas for talking to you all from the internet, inspirational posts on Facebook and from church, as well.  Today's message in church had much to do with not always being willing to the voices that tell me to become more active in church or to slow down enough in the craziness I can make of my work or health issues to even hear what might be good advice. I was thinking about possums who play dead so that they might not be hurt, or maybe because they say, "I just don't want to be bothered".  I do feel like that sometimes. I know the voices or pokes or taps are telling me to listen to that still, small voice that says either to relax from to much work or to spring into action to help others. 
My two best examples of either side of that coin include the following:
  1. When Dave and I moved to Florida 26 years ago, I felt "called" to join a local Episcopal church. I had just begun a long-term substitute teaching position in Crestview, Florida, at a middle school, and I was enjoying being in the classroom (after spending 2 1/2 years getting my master's degree in Counseling and Educational Psychology while we lived in New Mexico).  Two significant events happened the very first Sunday morning I attended the Episcopal church. The first was that I was sitting in the congregation singing along with the rest of the folks, when a parishioner who sat in front of me turned around and said, "You have a beautiful voice. The choir could use you. Let me introduce you to the choir director after the service."  First day at the church and I'm already about to commit to join a choir??? Yikes! After the service, and having met and committed to the choir director that yes, indeed, I would be there at Thursday evening rehearsal, I was then approached by the priest, Father Arnold, who said, "I heard that you teach at a middle school and that you have a counseling background. " Wait, what?? I think I told one person who asked what I did. They seemed to have faster communication that teenagers texting back and forth! Father Arnold said, "We really need a new youth group advisor and you seem to have the perfect qualifications for that. Let me introduce you to the middle school youth group leader and he can tell you when they meet, so we can get you started."  Being "called" to serve?  More like being bopped on the head to begin serving immediately.  Brute force, maybe, even?  Okay, maybe that is a slight exaggeration, but I did learn then that I believe that is how you grow a church or other similar organization. You grab a hold of people who seem to have talents you need and simply get them involved so there is accountability in coming to church and feeling a sense of "instant belonging".  In the end, both situations turned in to years of service at St. Jude's and I will never forget that first day because of the long-lasting effects.
  2. I have been pretty busy this summer and early fall with work, teaching lots of master's and doctoral level courses; traveling for consulting work; working with a university to help re-develop some curriculum for them, etc. To say I have over-done it might be a little accurate.  A few weeks ago, I felt a little puny but left to go to work for three days (three different schools) in the New York/New Jersey area. By the time my plane had landed in Newark, I felt feverish. Dave (what an amazing husband I have!) immediately sprang into action and got me the name of the closest Urgent Care to my hotel in New Jersey.  I went, only to be immediately diagnosed with COVID, despite having had all my vaccines, etc.  The doctor told me he should advise me to go back to my hotel and quarantine there for five days but then he said, "I also would never want to do that myself, so I would hop on the soonest plane back to Texas, wearing a mask the whole time and staying away from people as much as possible then quarantine at home."  Suffice it to say the next two weeks were a couple of the most miserable I have had in a VERY  long time. Short of being hospitalized, I had technicians in white coats come to the house to infuse me with antibodies, I did breathing treatments, I took cough medicine, and I basically convalesced between bed and couch as I couldn't do much else.  In other words, the "still, small voice" telling me I should take it easy turned into a directive.  If I fill my days with busy-ness, God seems to find a way to ensure I find a way to slow down.  

I think we have to be true to ourselves and be true to our physical, emotional, spiritual, and all other forms of well-being.  
I think I am ready to travel again for work the next two weeks, for which I am eternally grateful.  I am also grateful I have a husband who is my "not so small voice" when I need to get a sanity check.  Thirty years of marriage have taught him that I am pretty stubborn when it comes to wanting to do the best I can with my career, but he also will not allow me, the possum, to play dead when he wants to ensure I am keeping safe and healthy.

What are you doing to keep yourself open to the "right" voices to hear while not being so rigid that you shut down from all voices? 
Just for today, remember to listen for messages that are likely there for a reason.
Happy Communicating, 
​Shelly

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    Shelly Arneson

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