Dr. Shelly Arneson Author and Consultant
  • Home
  • Blogs and News
  • Workshops
  • Consultation
  • Shop
  • Links
  • Contact Information
  • Dissertation
Picture

Happy Communicating
​

Good people

9/20/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
Are you a good person? Are your friends and family "good people"?  What if the people you consider to be good people do things that you don't think are good things to do?  Does that make them bad people?  It would seem so when we watch the news or get into the rifts on social media about politics, medical situations, human rights, race, etc. 
The sermon today in church was about that exact topic.  Can good people get into bad things or act in ways that are not "good" in other peoples' minds?  I suspect so.  

My class I am teaching at Trinity University called "Teaching Students with Learning and Behavior Problems" has been studying the notion of students who have gotten in repeated trouble and been labeled "bad kids".  Have you ever taught a "bad kid"? Have you ever had a "bad kid" in your neighborhood?  I grew up mostly in apartment complexes and didn't have a whole lot of supervision. I participated in some pretty bad activities but I think I am a pretty "good person".  Fast forward to teaching and being a principal.  I had a student or two who would run away from school.  The text we've been reading in class says that teachers tend to label students who would do such a thing as "bad kids"  (Greene, 2016).  The problem with even saying the student's behavior is bad is that we are not, in Greene's view going far enough "upstream".  We are simply seeing what we see, and even worse, theorizing about the reasons for it.  We hear educators say things like, "He probably runs away because he doesn't want to go home to his house where there is drug use and prostitution going on."  The problem with these "adult theories" (Greene, 2016, p. 38) is that we are imposing our own beliefs on someone else's choices, and they are often wrong.  Instead, we need to go further upstream and explore the unsolved problem.  For my runner, it might be that he has difficulty staying in school after 2:00.  We, as the adults in his life, including his parent(s), of course, can get together and talk collaboratively about the problem-solving process.  What might we do?  One suggestion is to get someone who has a really good relationship with the student to have the first discussion with him/her.  That might be the P.E. coach; it might be the counselor; it might be the lady who monitors the lunchroom who the student opens up with when he/she feels like no one else is listening.  The conversation might go something like:
Adult:  So, you seem to have difficulty staying in the school after 2:00. What's going on there?
Student: I don't know. I just don't want to be there anymore.
Adult:  Hmmmm....I get that; what do you think is going on around 2:00 that makes you want to run?
Student:  I just hate getting on the bus after school. I'd rather run home.  
Adult:  What's going on with the bus that you're not comfortable with?
Student:  It's loud and I just want to be by myself. 
Adult:  Hm.....it's a long way from school to your house, so we have the bus for that reason.  I wonder what might happen if we got you a headset with your favorite songs on a playlist, and you could listen to that on the way home on the bus. What do you think about that?
Student:  Yeah, that would be kinda cool....I'd like that.

Okay, maybe that is a simplistic version of the conversation and too easily solved, but it gives us the reality that the kid is not a "bad kid" and the kid is not even doing "bad behaviors". He/she just needs help with his unsolved problems.  

We can be divided on our views on politics, religion, human rights, race, etc. but does that make someone BAD?  I think not.  I hope not. I pray not.  As our sermon talked about today, even Biblical Matthew hung out with a homeless guy who ended up getting murdered (that would be Jesus).  Who is bad in that scenario?  I would think "nobody is". 

We may see good people, even people we love more than anyone else in the world, be involved in activities that we don't like or agree with.  But does that make their views bad?  People on social media often say it does.  I don't agree.  I believe we have the ability to agree to disagree on many aspects but still be good people.

Whenever Dave and I hear someone talking about "That's not a good activity", it reminds us of one of our favorite comedians, Brian Reagan   . He has one of the funniest "takes" on what is and isn't a good activity.  But he doesn't get into who is and isn't a good person.

Just for today, perhaps consider what is and isn't a good activity for you. And remember, above all, that you are good and wonderfully made.  

Happy Communicating,

Shelly

Greene, R.W. (2016).  Lost and Found:  Helping behaviorally challenging students.​ Jossey-Bass.  
​


0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Shelly Arneson

    Picture

    Archives

    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
Photos used under Creative Commons from Tjeerd, Johnragai-Moment Catcher, UnknownNet Photography, Mr. Bombdiggity, wuestenigel, quinn.anya, Chocolate Geek, Jorbasa, Leonard J Matthews, JefferyTurner, Golf Resort Achental, fabola, www.ilmicrofono.it, m01229, Heinrich Plum, Titanic Belfast, Strocchi, Cultural viewpoints from around the world, katrienberckmoes, fabola, susivinh, fourcroft, Sweet Dreamz Design, usarjnco, Eldriva, symphony of love, cordalth, boellstiftung, David Holt London, maryjohum, Tony Webster, Rich.S., ZK-OJQ, davidmulder61, garryknight, ChrisPerriman, mrkrndvs, goatling, YellowstoneNPS, Frederick Homes for Sale, Mary_on_Flickr, yourbestdigs, Dean Hochman, guillenperez, Janitors, rachaelvoorhees
  • Home
  • Blogs and News
  • Workshops
  • Consultation
  • Shop
  • Links
  • Contact Information
  • Dissertation