Am I supposed to have expectations or not? Who is to know when we are confronted with varying messages in our world? Add to that a bit of travel fatigue and I am in a real quandry.
Take Covey's quote:
“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and
he will become as he can and should be.”
― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
Doesn't that mean we should have expectations of people so they will rise to the challenge? But what about this quote?
“Expectations were like fine pottery. The harder you held them, the more likely they were to crack.”
― Brandon Sanderson, The Way of Kings
And what about this quote from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous?
"My serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations of other people are, the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But then my 'rights' try to move in, and they, too, can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my 'rights,' as well as my expectations, by asking myself, How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety'? And when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher level - at least for the time being."
I have found that, for me and my life, it is safest when I give up my own expectations of the way people are supposed to act or supposed to be and just.....well, let them be. But wowee! that is sure easier said than done. I want for every training I do to be perfect. I want everyone with whom I work to get along. I want for my family to all make healthy choices. I want.....I want.....I want. The problem with that scenario is that "wishing doesn't make it so". All I can really do is take care of doing the very best job I can, help people when they have questions, and hope and pray they "get it" if they wind up on a slow road to nowhere.
I am grateful today for the ability to not have as many expectations of people and situations as I did 10 years ago. I also firmly believe that things (and yes, people) turn out the way they are intended to turn out, remarkably without my assistance.
Just for today, can you let go of the expectations you have about other people and about difficult situations in your own life and maybe take a moment to say the Serenity Prayer?
4/20/2019 12:44:35 pm
I struggled with this one SO much during my early sobriety. But with my daughters in foster care, and having to deal with Family Services to get them home, walking that fine line between my "rights" and expectations vs my serenity threatened my sobriety to the point that I knew if I didn't learn how to do this, my very life would be on the line. Because I knew this without question, I eventually learned to do my part to assert my rights, WITHOUT EXPECTATION! I did what I felt it was my responsibility to do and left the outcome in God's hands. That was almost 30 years ago and me and my daughters are still close and loved.
6/16/2019 11:04:43 am
Wonderful! Wow, being assertive/fighting for my rights without expectation! That's a doozy, and something I will be working on (my subconscious is already on it LOL). Thanks Mr. Donald!
6/2/2019 11:07:39 pm
I am happy to see that there are so many things you can do and earn at the same time that is in regards with your work. I am really happy that I got the chance to see how this world works. I know that the money is quite big here, but I realized that it's not for me. Despite everything, I am still looking forward to learn the craft because I might develop a special interest towards it. Hopefully, it will take place anytime soon!
6/16/2019 10:58:45 am
Great forum! Great question!
8/2/2019 10:14:23 pm
8/1/2022 01:38:29 am
Tamamen gerçek takipçiler sizleri bekliyor. Herhangi bir şekilde düşmeyen kaliteli takipçilere sahip olmak artık çok kolay. Türk takipçi satın al seçeneği ile hızlı bir büyüme elde edin.
8/1/2022 04:26:25 am
Hem kaliteli hem de güvenilir bir şekilde takipçi hizmetleri sizleri bekliyor. Ucuz 2022 takipçi satın al seçeneği ve daha fazlası için adresimizi ziyaret edebilirsiniz.
8/9/2022 07:13:39 am
Çok güzel bir konu teşekkür ederim. https://www.alanyagroup.com/
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