Communication

Well, I suppose that since the name of my website and blog are about communication, I should show my vulnerability about certain pieces of advice about communication.

1. Don't assume anything---many of us, upon beginning to hear someone tell us something, have the tendency to assume what the person will say next and we fill in the blanks with our own notions and assumptions. These assumptions will often preclude anything else that the person is about to say while instead simply affirming our own beliefs without hearing the person finish. Stay tuned....more on this, shortly.
2. Listen --- I've written multiple blogs on listening and have, in many cases, even taken courses or workshops on how to improve my own listening skills.  Pssst....I have a secret to tell: I even teach workshops on this topic quite often. Since 2012, when I began writing what I hoped to be a weekly blog, I'm sure at least 1/4 of them had something to do with listening skills. And yet.....I, along with many of us (who, I might add, haven't dedicated their life's work to learning more about communication) still make major errors in NOT listening without having a subtle, underlying agenda. Am I listening to you, or am I listening for what I want to hear or what I want to argue with you about? I see this in my own family or even close circle of friends, and it seems a bit ridiculous...and yet we continue to do it. What might happen if we honestly listened to hear what the other person had to say instead of listening only to find something about which we want to argue or disagree?
3. Find the humor---There is so much in life about which we should take seriously, but sometimes it is just worth it to find the hilarity in life itself. I have to admit that, as I travel the world to work with schools and districts, I spend quite a bit of time in airplanes, airports, and hotels. The things that I hear are often so funny, I am praying that I do not laugh out loud.

Now comes the time that I share with you one of the funniest incidents that I have experienced in a long while. In many ways, it might seem just a tad "dark", but in all honesty, I giggle every time I think about it. Almost 3 weeks ago, I was scheduled to have a colonoscopy (that is really not meant to be the funny part, but go ahead and share all the colonoscopy jokes you have with me, if you are so inclined). On the same day, it was my dad's 92nd birthday, although he currently resides in a nursing home/rehabilitation facility. I decided to send him some cookies from Crumbl (do you know the establishment? They are surely meaning to attract people to acquire some sort of addiction to their cookies. I believe they might even have crack in them----not really, please don't sue me!). 

The morning of the colonoscopy (it was scheduled a bit later in the day than I would prefer, but you get what you get and you don't pitch a fit (I learned that gem from the best Kindergarten teachers in the world)), Dave and I were in the surgery center. I already had the IV inserted, and we were simply waiting "my turn", hoping and praying that they clean the instruments with a clear surgical precision. Just as the nurse came in to put the first dose of "happy juice" in my IV (you know, the stuff they give you before they wheel you back and knock you out completely), my phone dinged. Before Dave and I prayed for the doc's healing hands to be upon me, I (just like Pavlov's dog) was drawn to my phone. I opened it, and there was a text message. I wasn't planning on opening the whole message, but I just wanted to see who it was from and if it might be important (like more important than going back for a surgical procedure? I know----don't judge----read my last blog if you are tempted). What I saw stopped me from getting too "happy" from happy juice, as what I could read of the intro to the message said (and I quote): "Jesus is approaching...." 
​
Now, I don't know about you or your faith or your beliefs, but I looked at Dave with a little bit of fear in my eyes, and I began to wonder if I should cancel the colonoscopy altogether. I mean, if Jesus is approaching......
I had to do it. I had to open the whole message, which was directly from DoorDash, saying that "Jesus" (likely pronounced "Hey-soos", but no matter) was approaching my dad's rehab facility with the Crumbl cookies I had sent.  
WOWEE!! I started giggling and could not stop. I trust that the surgical center has heard many strange reactions to the drugs they give you, but this was PERFECT for making sure I take care to not make assumptions before reading the whole text.  

I invite you to share your best communication (or miscommunication) stories with me.
Happy Communicating!
​Shelly

---