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Happy Communicating
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Affirmers vs. Evaluators

3/12/2013

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One of my very best friends in the world is Robin, whom I met the first week of college.  She just sent me the book "Balcony People" by Joyce Landorf.  In it, the author describes people as being affirming or evaluative----in relationships, work, whatever.  She talks about how affirming people are our balcony people, those who cheer us on from the balcony. She even said she believes her mom, who had passed away years before, was not only cheering her on but saying, "I told you so" about "making it" in the world.  Evaluative, critical, judgmental people are our basement people------those who want to drag us down (I think, so they won't be alone in the miserable section of life).  
The charge is to stick with folks who are our balcony people.  
Balcony people in my life are ones who have shared their spirituality and love for God with me.  They have listened to me unconditionally.  They have laughed with me instead of wallowing in self-pity with me.  They have built me up instead of tearing me down.  Joyce Landorf said, when she made a list of her balcony people, she was amazed at how few could fit the bill.
I am so grateful for those people in my life.  My mother was clearly my first---she believed I would be a teacher, a writer, a "presenter for lots of people" (her prophetic words when I was just out of college).  Dave is clearly my best balcony person now----he is the one I run to for every good news and bad news and he listens unconditionally.
Robin and Kelly from college, Denise from high school, Theresa (Mama in Christ) and Cindy (Scarecrow) from Edge are all my balcony people ---- then and now.  I am blessed to have them and several more.  So very grateful ----
Now, just for today, why not make a list of your balcony people and also make a list of those for whom you are their balcony person?  
And then, why not take a minute to go affirm someone who might need that affirmation to
1 Comment
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