Vulnerability does not Equate to Weakness

I have wanted to write a book with this title for WAY longer than I care to admit, and I still haven't done it, so here is the start....a blog about the topic.  While I have been beating myself up about not blogging for a month and a half (the longest I think I have ever gone since beginning to blog in 2012), I realize that the flogging does no good and in fact arrests my growth. I have had a rough last several weeks, with the short story resulting in a hospital stay for a severe kidney infection (when Dave and I were in the ER, and we heard the word "sepsis" being quietly spoken, then I was immediately hooked up to an IV, an EKG, and fluids and morphine were shot through my IV, we definitely sat up and took notice----me, a bit loopier than Dave). In the end, I was hospitalized in San Antonio for 5 days because my kidney infection was stubborn and didn't want to respond to antibiotics. Two weeks later, I can honestly say I am feeling much better, and I am eternally grateful for my healthcare staff, friends who texted, emailed, Facebook messaged, dropped by (one with a Matthew McConaughey coloring book and colored pencils), and my dear husband who sacrificed playing golf more than a couple of days for my health (and indulging cravings for cherry slushes from Sonic when no other food or drink sounded good ---for almost 10 days----crazy!).  To say I felt "vulnerable" is an understatement. I honestly did not know what was going on with me (from the CT scan showing an inflamed pancreas one day to a CT scan with contrast showing my right kidney "lit up"), and Dave and I felt "vulnerable". Ultimately, I can say I am stronger for what we went through because I leaned heavily on God.  I mean....I leaned!! 

I think that I most often use that line when talking with principals and other school leaders about the culture in their schools. I based my entire dissertation on trust between principals and teachers, determining that one of the main "categories" of trust builders was communication. In other words, principals who communicated in an open and honest (and often fun-loving and even using self-deprecating humor) way were WAY more likely to be trusted by their teachers than those who thought they were possibly too "above" the teachers to talk with them, so they talked TO them. I most certainly do not know everything about leading a school (I did do it for 8 years and they were some of the best years of my life), but I do know this for certain: teachers know principals don't know everything about the teacher's classes, the curricula, the needs of their special needs students, the ins and outs of all of the aspects of the lesson the teacher is teaching on that day, etc.  So why in the world would we (as school leaders) act like we know all that?? It simply makes no sense. The vulnerability that is equated with me asking a teacher to please explain to me what I will be seeing in their lesson today or asking the band director to make me smart enough to know what the tubas are needing help with (and, for the record, I'm the daughter of a lifelong band director, and I still need that assistance) is something that allows the teacher to advocate for their own practice, taking nothing away from my ego or my own knowledge (unless I let it, which is the kicker). 
​I am grateful to have a loving God who does not judge but rather encourages me to get outside my comfort zone, which is naturally going to put me in a vulnerable situation. But that doesn't make me weak, and I need to remember that.
For today, consider what makes you feel most vulnerable. Take a moment (or two or three) to examine from where that vulnerability stems and if it is even realistic. Then continue progressing in your field of expertise, knowing you have some knowledge and not all knowledge.  
Happy Communicating!
​Shelly

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